God Bless the Freaks

NORMAL is getting dressed
in clothes that you buy for work
and driving through traffic in a car
that you are still paying for-
in order to get to the job you need
to pay for the clothes
and the car
and the house
you leave vacant all day
so you can afford to live in it.
- Ellen Goodman

For all three of you who still check this page, I’m back at the blog! I broke down and finally splurged for internet at my apartment which should facilitate posts more often.

Since returning from the Middle East my life has had a high level of transition. Some things are big like leaving the UMC candidacy process, starting a new job and taking on the Treasurer role of an organization with which I’m involved. Others are smaller, yet significant like an awesome new haircut and reconnecting with friends I missed with commuting to and from Nebraska last year.

This weekend I went to a Brandi Carlile concert in Boulder with two really great friends, Stephanie and Nicole. They were my first two friends when I moved to Denver five years ago to take a job as an Auditor right out of college. They are both brilliant and have been promoted in the company, are homeowners, and have lots of clients who rely on them. It is strange to think that my life would be similar to theirs if I had stayed on the same trajectory. Though I enjoyed my brief career as an Auditor, I had an irrational fear that at any moment a mob of accountants would gather around my cubicle chanting “imposter”, as if they had found out that I was not really one of “them.”

When I graduated from college my mom bought me a coffee mug (which I’m using right now – it’s filled with Apple Cinnamon herbal tea) with a quote from Thoreau: “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined.” It sounds cheesy to say, but I very much feel like this is what I’m doing, though I am more confident at some times than others. I’m experimenting with truth and beauty and living the life I’ve imagined, though it is not at all “normal.” I have moments when I lose faith in my beliefs about simplicity and security and panic about making so little money and not having a full-time job. I have moments when I feel like a freak for not living a “normal” life. At Convo the other weekend, my friend Tiffany and I found bumper stickers for sale that say “God Bless the Freaks”. They spoke to us immediately and I bought one for Tiffany and one for myself (I may put it up in the Middle School youth room).

What is normal, anyway? God bless the freaks.

Here's a little treat from Brandi Carlile, one of her new songs from her forthcoming album this fall:


P.S. Happy Birthday, Uncle Jerry!